A student came to the great medical hypnotist and changemaker Milton Erickson for help with a client. He described the problem the client was experiencing and asked Erickson what he recommended. Erickson said, "I'd never allow a client of mine to have a problem like that." What he meant was that the nameing or description of the problem situation was, in itself, limiting efforts to change it.
Iyanla Van Zant, TV, seminar, and book writing changemaker, says, "Don't language yourself into it."
Go back and notice how you've been labeling or describing what you want to change and look for ways to "language" it better.
For example, a client told me part of the problem she was experiencing was caused by "obesity." Now, think about it, obesity is a big, fat word, solid and immovable. It's a "condition," a disease term, a scary word. We all know that "obesity" is a major, concrete, and serious thing.
I asked my client to stop referring to "obesity," to herself, to change the way she thinks of the fat she lugs around with her all day. I asked her to think of it as "insulation" because, in her case, and in many other people's cases, that's what it is. It is a buffer to protect them from invasive and assaultive incursions from other people and from situations and experiences they don't have other adequate ways to protect themselves from.
When she has enough other resources available to her she won't need that insulation, and it will simply be used up as fuel.
